Dear Crotchety Old Man at the YMCA,

I've said it once and I'll say it again...being old doesn't excuse you from using your manners like every other person in this world.

I understand you feel like you've paid your dues by living this long and you're cranky that you're dragging your old ass out of the house to attend your "Silver Sneakers" class that is full of blue hairs instead of all the hot chicks in kickboxing. Hey, that's not my fault.

Yes, I saw your frustration as you waited for all of the people to finish coming in and out of the building so you could push the big blue button for the automatic door. Yes, I know the automatic door button will not work unless the door is fully closed (Trust me, buddy, I know it since all three of my boys fight over it every time we go to the mall. You think life is tough? Take three boys to the mall to buy a dress for this weekend, or better yet, take them bra shopping, THEN come talk to me.)

That was the reason that I held the door open for you and asked if you'd like to walk through. Did you say, "Thank you, Juniper, I was having some trouble with the automatic door button that won't work unless the door is completely closed and all these people keep walking through and it's SO frustrating!" Did you say that? NO!

You know what you did??? HUH, do you? You scolded me (I dare say yelled at me) for holding the door open. "Would you just let the door CLOSE?" You said, kind of mean. "This button won't WORK unless the door is CLOSED and you're holding it OPEN! And I'm waiting for it to CLOSE!" You said, very mean.

Do you want to know what I said in my head? I wiped that nice smile off my face and walked away, but in my mind I was saying "Fuck you, buddy. THAT'S WHY I OFFERED TO HOLD IT FOR YOU!!!" Just because you're old, you can't go around saying anything you want...you...you... old MEANY!


Jennifer Juniper


  1. Toooooo.Freakin'.FUNNY!!!!!!!!! I just had a feeling your brain was spinning that little exchange into a juicy post!!!!

  2. We wouldn't wait for the door to close all the way yesterday when leaving swim lessons and Annie wanted to push the blue button - my 6-year-old handled it better than that guy. I hope I'm never THAT cranky and rude!

  3. lolol... damn that sounds like me... seriously when people are trying to be polite they either not say thank you or are just rude. =_=

  4. LOL! Great rant, Jen. I have to tell you; at 72 my mother bitches about "old people". He probably doesn't see himself as one, either. And I'm pretty sure--if they're cranky old, they were probably cranky young. The just looked and smelled better. :-)

  5. Oh yes, the inner dialogue conversation. I've had MANY of those. Good job keeping it in!

    (Found you from Mom Bloggers Club )

  6. I'm right there with you sistah!

    (and I live in SW FL, so can you possibly imagine the number of folks JUST LIKE HIM that surround me?!? ... yes, it's quite alright to feel terrible for me).

  7. that cartoon CRACKED ME UP!!

    as did the rest. God I hope that's not me someday.


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