No. They will usually choose to do what they enjoy and what they are good at. I had to take piano lessons for 17 years yet since I have become an adult, I never play! Find out your children's gifts and lead them in that direction.
Teenaged boys choose to do what they enjoy...video games. Sometimes a little push is necessary as a mom for my kids I'm finding. Lot's of choices and if they don't pick, I do. Right or wrong? We'll find out, I guess!
Never! But our rule is: if they start... they have to finish the season.
No. I've never forced my kids to play specific sports. I agree with Kelly, that if they start they have to finish. I've only signed up my boys for sports that they've wanted to play. For the older one that means baseball, soccer, karate, football, lacrosse, wrestling, cross country, volleyball, and golf. Now that he's in high school he chooses to just play lacrosse year round. For the younger one, so far it's been lacrosse, soccer, and baseball.I do believe that you should force your kids to have some level of physical activity, though. Childhood obesity is an epidemic across this nation. I see far too many kids who spend all day in front of a screen whether it's the tv or the computer. Activity doesn't have to be an organized sport, but it's one of the easiest ways to get in that hour of physical activity that children should be engaging in each day. I know that between seasons, I do force my teen to go to the gym with me, and while on vacation, I'll make sure that we get plenty of pool time or hit the tennis courts. Fitness should be a lifetime goal that should be modeled for our children.
I'm thinking any sport is better than none - if they won't pick I will have to pick for them.
I think for those instances where a kid just shows no interest at all in any sport, you can give him or her an option of 3 and have them pick from them. I haven't actually encountered this problem with my boys, because they've always been interested in sports, but it seems like making a kid choose between several options would give them some ownership over the decision.I know that forcing a situation can get ugly. I've seen the 6 yr olds in tears on the sideline of a lacrosse field, absolutely refusing to put on the gear, practice after practice, week after week.
I guess I do. I sign my kids up for summer swim league each year-which is met with various levels of enthusiasm by my children. They all get good exercise and it provides a little structure to our days and so I feel it is worth a little whining. Also, if for some strange reason, if we are ever in a ship wreck, they can all swim to shore :)
That is always very useful in shipwreck situations! :)
I have mixed feelings on this. My mom forced me to take ballet lessons all through grade school and I loathed it and vowed I would never force my child to do something he hated. Now, as a parent, my child fortunately enjoys soccer and he plays that each season. He's very active and prefers to play outside rather than watch tv. We're rather lucky, I know. That being said, if he wasn't that way (and I'm waiting for the day he doesn't want to play outside), I would coerce him into some phyiscal activity, but I would do my best to not make it feel forced - like signing him up for a sport he had no desire to play. I'd take him to the park and run with him or ride bikes with him or take him to the pool. I'd do whatever it was with him...sometimes as a parent you have to be a trickster. :)
Ahh, yes...trickster :)
Nope. I would ask them if they wanted to try it and if they said yes, then they would have to finish out the session/season before they could quit. But I would never tell them You are going to play football this year. I played the violin when I was younger. I loved it. I loved music. But I was forced to be in music when I wanted to take home ec one year. after that, I lost my love for it but I was forced to continue playing throughout high school. I haven't picked up my violin since I graduated high school almost 20 years ago.
What if you laid out several choices and they still said no - is doing nothing an option or should they chose something?
I don't believe that you should force a kid to play sports. I don't even know HOW you could force a teenage boy to play. I agree with Supermom above that you can expect them to exercise their bodies every day - through outright "exercise" or through some sort of activity like golf, bike riding, fishing, etc. You may have to spell out what some options might be. There is always the option of limiting their time with electronics. I wanted my kids to play more sports than they did, but they just didn't want to. There is a lot of money involved with teenage sports and I could not afford for them to do something they weren't 100% committed to. What I did do was spell out 5 areas of health they had to address weekly(with a plan) physical, social, spiritual, emotional, intellectual. The expectation was that they grew to be healthy, responsible young adults and this gave them some framework to work within. Sorry so wordy. Tough subject!
Nope. They have to finish if they start, well at a certain age. I'm considering taking my almost four year old out of Tball. I don't think he is mature enough yet. I don't want him to have a negative memory of it.I will encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities, but I'm not going to force them.
Like echoed above, we encourage, but don't force. But if they start, they absolutely have to finish!Happy Friday!
Ah, sports... I hate sports myself, I always did. And staying fit is not an issue in our family, we don´t have a car, so we are forced to do everything by bike or foot - and my kids are thin and slender and muscular, all of them, and so am I, because we simply have to spend about an hour minimum each day on our bikes just to run our daily errands. Some of my kids seem to be on the sporty side - they love to spend the rest of the day on their unicycles or running around in the garden, but if the other two prefer to sluggishly read the rest of their time, I´m fine with that. Then on the other hand, I´m a huge music lover, and I´d really like all of my kids to play an instrument. But I don´t want to force them. Being the mom that shouts them into practising music is exactly the opposite of what I want to be. So I usually tell them "Either you practise, or I quit paying lessons." And that works for us. They all want to continue lessons, so whenever I bring up the threat of quitting completely, they begin to practise quite fine :)
Yep -- signed up our 12 yo for Soccer this year. Boys need an outlet and for those of us who don't live on a farm or have more "manly" chores sports are a great outlet for all that testosterone! I wish I would have "forced"/encouraged our older son to stay in them! I do think there comes a point where they have to choose but I don't have a problem with saying baseball or soccer this spring? when they are younger
That is exactly where I am with my own. I, too, laid out several choices and "no sport" was not an option. It was hard to make him stick with it, but all his reasons for not playing were just insecurity and fear of the unknown.I'm happy to say I have a great sprinter in track and field right now and he never would have known what a gift he has if I hadn't forced him to choose something to do.
Tell me what you think!