A Mother's List of Rights

Raise your right hand and repeat after me. I (state your name) have the right to:

  • Not mop the floor more than once a week
  • Call paper plate night when I can't face another dish in the sink
  • Not feel guilty for taking the time for general maintenance, eg: cutting my hair, showering, blow drying my hair, taking 10 minutes longer to shave my legs, eat, go to the bathroom with the door closed, and not entertaining a child or dog who both think I need help...
  • To eat a real meal mid-day, not scraps or cottage cheese spooned on top of a leftover fruit cup over the kitchen sink.
  • To eat cake as many times as I can in one week.
  • To not feel guilty about taking 2 hours a week to exercise and putting my kids in the YMCA childcare room to do so.
  • To be relieved of making at least 1 meal per week (eating out doesn't count, I want to see someone else make it AND clean up after it).
  • To acknowledge that my kids might not be the best soccer player, as long as I don't say it out loud.
  • To deny said kids snacks or drinks if they don't say "Please".
  • To read my favorite magazine subscription someplace other than the bathroom and not feel lazy.
  • To make grown up food once a week for dinner without having to prepare a side of chicken nuggets.
  • To look in my purse and actually find a piece of gum, a quarter, chapstick...that my kids haven't stolen when I wasn't looking.
  • To make a deal with my husband that if Brad Pitt ever propositioned me I get a free pass (concede that the same deal goes for him and Angelina).
  • To buy a pair of shoes in a real Mall (and not TJ Maxx) and feel no guilt!
  • To put on makeup without having to answer the question "Where are you going? Why are you putting on makeup?"
  • To take weekend shaving breaks like dear Hubby.
  • To make up shopping trips so I can put Munchkin #3 in the supermarket child care for 1/2 hour per week while I wander around talking or texting to my friends.
  • To text my friends dumb things I can't call for because I have 3 kids screaming in the back seat.
  • For my kids to know that I actually went to college and have a brain that goes beyond folding sheets and wiping butts.
  • Embrace the belly pooch because it came by way of birthing 3 kids (or 2 or 4 or 5...)
  • To not have to endure finding a new gray hair and a new zit on the same morning (seriously!)
  • To love McDonald's Apple Pie even though it's far down on the food chain.
  • To continue to love watching MTV as much as I did when I was 16 and it was brand new.
  • To never tell anyone I remember when MTV was brand new.
  • To tell my kids I'm 29 years old (again!).
  • Feel free to add your own thoughts below. Thank you!


  1. I tell my kids Im 29 too.
    Also if I feel like ordering Pizza because I am tired of cooking, I can.
    Love your mothers rights.

  2. Hi! You've reached that point in life where you realize that you can only do so much! Good for you!

    I did that, when I returned to college.

    I noticed that the other "3 occupants" in the house had brains, arms, legs and ability to do some (most all) of the chores.

    I posted mine prominently and it worked.

    Stick to your own rules now and you'l find it very rewarding!!

  3. I love the list...Will have to jot down my additions. Now, I'm going to get some "real" food for lunch!

  4. I reserve the right to say, "Please stop talking to me" and have them not get offended. I love all their chatter but my brain is old and it can only do one thing at a time. If I listened to everything my 7 and 4 year old say to me, nothing would ever get done in this house.

    I also reserve the right to BEG my 6 year old to talk to me. That guy never says a word.

    Great list!


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