- Not mop the floor more than once a week
- Call paper plate night when I can't face another dish in the sink
- Not feel guilty for taking the time for general maintenance, eg: cutting my hair, showering, blow drying my hair, taking 10 minutes longer to shave my legs, eat, go to the bathroom with the door closed, and not entertaining a child or dog who both think I need help...
- To eat a real meal mid-day, not scraps or cottage cheese spooned on top of a leftover fruit cup over the kitchen sink.
- To eat cake as many times as I can in one week.
- To not feel guilty about taking 2 hours a week to exercise and putting my kids in the YMCA childcare room to do so.
- To be relieved of making at least 1 meal per week (eating out doesn't count, I want to see someone else make it AND clean up after it).
- To acknowledge that my kids might not be the best soccer player, as long as I don't say it out loud.
- To deny said kids snacks or drinks if they don't say "Please".
- To read my favorite magazine subscription someplace other than the bathroom and not feel lazy.
- To make grown up food once a week for dinner without having to prepare a side of chicken nuggets.
- To look in my purse and actually find a piece of gum, a quarter, chapstick...that my kids haven't stolen when I wasn't looking.
- To make a deal with my husband that if Brad Pitt ever propositioned me I get a free pass (concede that the same deal goes for him and Angelina).
- To buy a pair of shoes in a real Mall (and not TJ Maxx) and feel no guilt!
- To put on makeup without having to answer the question "Where are you going? Why are you putting on makeup?"
- To take weekend shaving breaks like dear Hubby.
- To make up shopping trips so I can put Munchkin #3 in the supermarket child care for 1/2 hour per week while I wander around talking or texting to my friends.
- To text my friends dumb things I can't call for because I have 3 kids screaming in the back seat.
- For my kids to know that I actually went to college and have a brain that goes beyond folding sheets and wiping butts.
- Embrace the belly pooch because it came by way of birthing 3 kids (or 2 or 4 or 5...)
- To not have to endure finding a new gray hair and a new zit on the same morning (seriously!)
- To love McDonald's Apple Pie even though it's far down on the food chain.
- To continue to love watching MTV as much as I did when I was 16 and it was brand new.
- To never tell anyone I remember when MTV was brand new.
- To tell my kids I'm 29 years old (again!).
- Feel free to add your own thoughts below. Thank you!
A Mother's List of Rights
Raise your right hand and repeat after me. I (state your name) have the right to:
My girlfriend came over to refill my estrogen reserves last week, and brought with her a fantastic craft for us to do together while chat...
Don't you love it when a friend shows up at the door with a shoebox full of Lifesavers, jellybeans, and ribbon and teaches you someth...