Type "unfortunately Jen" (just substitute your name) and see what comes up. I actually felt a little depressed after this exercise so I type in "surprisingly Jen" next. It gave me a giggle and lifted my spirits.
Here are the results...drum roll, please!
Unfortunately, Jennifer looks like she is stuck in a 1980’s time warp! (now, that's just mean!)
Unfortunately, Jenny is possessed by Muriel's ghost. (that explains a LOT)
Unfortunately, Jen knows nothing about computers. (um, okay that's true)
Unfortunately, Jennifer seems to have replaced her ex-lover with a 62-year-old stalker. (great.)
Unfortunately Jen is no longer with us. (I'm getting depressed.)
Unfortunately, Jen is also quite small and could easily be harmed. (I'm feeling feeble.)
Unfortunately, Jen often forgets her bills because she doesn’t even open them up. (Yeah, so?)
Unfortunately, Jen never did find a suitable substitute for either ice cream or cheese and ended up eating two whole boxes of fat-free cookies in one day (Okay, now this is getting scary! Is someone out there watching me?!)
Unfortunately, Jen was not only pregnant, but allergic to the dog. (now that sucks.)
Unfortunately Jen and I went through the same situation. She married an ass. (I'm so blue...)
Unfortunately, Jen said, "metaphor" when she meant, "simile," (No, not that!)
Unfortunately Jen has a stress fracture on the hip . (It's probably because I'm so small and easily harmed.)
Unfortunately, Jen died two weeks ago (Alright, I can't take it anymore!)
Let's pick it up around here before I jump out of the nearest window!Surprisingly Jen...
Surprisingly, Jen wasn't interested in partaking of my placenta
Surprisingly, Jen was sent home for making the 'clumsy' bread
Surprisingly, Jen complained about the camel's smell and eventually having to drink the milk.
Now, that's what I'm talkin' about!