I Got Pulled Over By "Ponch" This Week

On my way home from kickboxing to take a shower before my birthday party, I look in my rear view mirror and see this:

Let me go on the record as saying I reek and really need a shower, also I start looking for my camera to take pics for my blog. Sick, I know.

I looked up from digging for my wallet and saw this:

(Well, kind of like that if Ponch was now balding with a bit of a gut, and drove an SUV rather than a motorcycle, and had no partner with feathered blond hair, but you get the picture)

Ponch: You passed me on that road back there and I clocked you at 50 mph on this road.

Juniper: Really? Because I saw you behind me the whole time and know I kept it between 38 and 42 mph.

Ponch: The speed limit is 35 mph.

Juniper: I know that, I was just saying I wasn't going 50 mph, but if your thingie says I was going 50 mph then I won't argue with you about it since you have to have it calibrated properly (remembering how much is pisses me off when my kids argue with me and throwing in a big "calibrated" to make up for the use of the word "thingie" earlier)

Ponch: I need to see your other papers, license and registration.

Juniper: I know, I'm trying to find it but I'm not sure where my husband keeps it (totally leading him to believe I'm driving my husband's car and he's a doofus that lost his papers)

At this point, I begin totally rambling about car inspections and emissions tests, the county I live in...I'm not sure why.

Ponch: Is that one it? No, that's 2007. Is that one it? No that's 2008. Check that blue one. No, that's not it. You know what you need to do? Throw away all these old registrations!

Juniper: I think I'm just flustered.

Ponch: Who is the car registered under?

Juniper: My husband (furthering the lie)

Ponch: Okay, I'll just check it out for you. (returns to car in his uniform with jingly things hanging off him, kind of Ponch-ish)

Juniper: (still looking for the cards and thinking I should remember to look for a gun next time he comes back, you know, just to see.)

While I'm pondering this I notice movement beside me and jump as I look up and see this;

Ponch: (handing me my license) I'm not going to give you a ticket, but slow down. Oh, and happy birthday.

Juniper: (reaching out to shake his hand) Thank you and I'm really sorry...oh, and I'm just telling people I'm only 29, you're cool with that, right?

I did get a laugh out of him and a head shake, and really that's all I was going for. You know, thanks for letting the crazy, stinky lady off. She's so damn old anyway, what else does she have going for her?

End scene.


  1. Lucky and extremely crafty. Impressed. Happy 29th!

  2. That is really hilarious!!! Love the rendition! Happy birthday!

  3. lolol that was funny to read... lucky you for getting off with no ticket! I won't have the guts to say anything half as witty.

  4. haha! very funny! another good way to get out of a ticket is to drive around with crying toddlers in your car. it worked for me last time i got pulled over!

  5. No problem...you can be 29, I started going backwards at 40 so I am 33 now. Happy Happy Birthday!
    Thanks for visiting my blog.
    I think you are wonderful... I love your sense of humor!

  6. thanks for commenting on my blog!! Happy Birthday to you!! I love the attitudes of police officers!!

  7. No lie...2 weeks ago...same story. I ran a stop sign in my babysitters neighborhood. The same stop sign I've been stopping at everyday for 7 years. I could find every registration for the past 6 six years except the current one. He looked it up, though, and I thankfully got off with a warning! The ironic part is that Scott had asked me to leave my license at home so he could photocopy it for the mortgage broker. I looked at him like he was stupid. (I'm good at that look.) Luckily I didn't!

    Oh, Duh! I JUST added your button to my blog. Sorry it took me so long.

  8. Jennifer - thanks for stopping by my little blog! SITS is great isn't it?

    I had a great laugh over your Ponch story - sounds like he was in a good mood, plus it was your birthday, for heavens sake!

    Had a laugh about your 29th birthday + celebration...I have anniversarys of my 29th birthday! LOL!

  9. What a great story and masterfully told.
    Happy belated birthday.

  10. What a great post. I am proud of your get-out-of-a-ticket techniques. Awesome. My wife got a ticket yesterday, so she probably got yours. LOL...

  11. I got away on the b'day ticket once!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog & helping to make my SITS day special!

  12. How AWESOME you didn't get a ticket! OH to be 29 again-oh wait I almost am LOL

  13. awwwhhhh.....I feel the teenage crush washing over me like it was yesterday......Ponch is even cuter than I remember him!!

  14. LOL to funny....and I always knew that Ponch was a nice guy!

  15. That was handled nicely!


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