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1.31.2010
Sunday Funny
What Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania:
If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Pittsburgh.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Pittsburgh
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Pittsburgh
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh
If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street looks to you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in Pittsburgh
If 'Jumbo' doesn't refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of luncheon meat, you live in Pittsburgh
If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn', you live in Pittsburgh
If Versailles is pronounced as if it is spelled 'versales', you live in Pittsburgh
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of the Mason Dixon line for the weekend, you live in Pittsburgh
If you measure distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in Pittsburgh
If someone offers you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it, you live in Pittsburgh
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Pittsburgh
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Pittsburgh
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Pittsburgh
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph - you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Pittsburgh
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Pittsburgh
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Pittsburgh
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Pittsburgh
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Pittsburgh
If you actually understand these jokes...you live in Pittsburgh!
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Just don't drive 80 on 79 near Robinson, 'cause you'll get pulled over. Fortunately, we also have the nicest policemen in Pittsburgh - he let me off with a warning! I love the photo of the incline and I love Pittsburgh!
ReplyDeletethanks for starting my Sunday with a smile ;-)
ReplyDeleteAlthough I do not live in Pittsburgh, my extended family is and I spent many a holiday and summer there. I love a good IC light! :) Happy Sunday!
ReplyDeleteWell obviously I don't liven in Pittsburgh because none of that made any sense to me. Except the heat and A/C thing because we have to do that in Texas too.
ReplyDeleteI take it that you don't like Pittsburgh then?
ReplyDeleteIt looks beautiful on your photo.
This really made me smile!
Great start to a Sunday morning....and many of these apply to Chicago too!
ReplyDeleteI don't live in Pittsburg but I do live in Pennsylvania and they all apply to PA also. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDelete"If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street looks to you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in Pittsburgh"
ReplyDeleteI love that one - especially growing up near Canonsburg where all the lawn furniture goes out for the 4th of July parade.
ok so now that i have looked it up on google maps and know where it is... it doesn't sound like a place to want to live. from what I had heard i had thought that part of the states was a more temperate area, is it really that cold? brrr. stay warm.
ReplyDeletehave a great day.
That just about describes CT. too...
ReplyDeleteThat's funny, he said these ones about Salt Lake too - and they are SO true!
ReplyDeleteIf someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Pittsburgh
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Pittsburgh
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh
As a Michigander I can relate to a ton of these also! :) Laughing at your post below too. I had totally blocked out the memory of a man dressed in a full bodysuit. Thanks for the memories! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, loved these. We're currently in Michigan, but Pittsburgh stays in our hearts!
ReplyDeleteJust bought an "&" and an "@" paperweight (&@) at Kohl's (70% off) to do some Pgh.-inspired artwork.
A couple more: Summer wasn't summer for without I.C. Coolers. Kind of like a Pittsburgh Shandy.
The Pittsburgh left. In other cities drivers don't offer the courtesy of right-of-way to oncoming left-turners once the light turns green. It's hard returning to friendly, cooperative driving when we visit Pittsburgh after navigating in metro Detroit.
I also miss having 4 shortcuts for any route I want to take, whether it was to the mall, work, school, whatever. Here, everything being on the grid system, there is no short way to get anywhere.
Also, living in the communities surrounding Pittsburgh meant school picnics at Kennywood (and telling someone that their zipper was down by saying: "Kennywood's open!").
Gonna go listen to some Clarks now.