After Denise Abbott's 13 year old daughter was caught airing disrespectful complaints about her mother and "stirring up drama" on Facebook, she tried several things to curb the behavior. She finally resorted to fighting back using the same tool. Denise posted this photo on her daughter's page with the following message:
"I do not know how to keep my (x over her mouth)
I am not longer allowed on Facebook or
my phone. Please ask why, my mom says I have to answer everyone that
asks."
It's Feedback Friday...
Do you think this punishment is appropriate or over the line?
I don't think humiliation is the way to go. Just lock down or close the facebook account, change your security settings to block facebook and other social media be done with it.
ReplyDeleteNot sure how effective that will be - she's sure to come up with a witty or snide response...but it is mildly amusing (:
ReplyDeleteI agree that humiliation backfires more often than it works. However, making the "punishment fit the crime" is huge on the success scale. The FIRST time there is the backtalk and disrespect, the privileges go.
ReplyDeleteWhen my eldest was 4 he went through this phase where he would stomp his foot at me. I found it disrespectful. It was January. He was barefoot and stomped away. I opened the front door and put him out on the frozen stoop to stomp all he wanted. Just not in my house. He never did it again. lol
Oh, and when someone gets grounded in our house (I have three boys 10, 11, & 12) they get a cold cheese sandwhich, an apple and water for EVERY meal delivered to their room. And then I make the most DELISH roasts and pizzas and cakes! You'd be suprised how just having to eat alone. Cold food. Knowing what you're missing....extremely effective. :) If you don't respect me enough to follow our rules--why should I cook for you?
Sometimes it's just that. Teaching them that every relationship has a foundation of mutual respect. They're all two way--if you don't do your part, you lose out on the other end. After all, that's real life, right?
I would get along very well with Chantel!!
ReplyDeleteEach child to different and kudos to this mom for actually holding her child accountable, something lacking in today's society of disrepectfulness!
My one son also had an issue with stomping until I put him in front of the microwave and made him stomp for five minutes and making him stomp harder when he tried to act tired. I am a fan of unusual punishment - just "grounding" or keeping them away from friends or video games just is not enough to get the point across sometimes. Last year I over-heard my oldest cursing towards me - rather than grounding him I made him my slave for the afternoon, doing the most unpleasant tasks that only moms seem to do - from scrubbing out the bottom of trash cans; wiping down baseboards, cleaning the actual toilet bowl and it actually ended with scrubbing the back deck with a toothbrush!
I think it depends on the child. My daughter would be devastated by the shaming aspect (not in a healthy way). But it would have worked perfectly on me as a kid!!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great. She should have listened to her mom all along.
ReplyDeleteI think the punishment fits the crime and I applaud Denise. Chantel also has a good strategy!
ReplyDeleteWorking in a high school - I totally apples this plan of action. More parents need to be aware of what their kids are up to on the internet and FB!
ReplyDeleteToo much drama starts in school because of FB & the parent has no idea.
Kudos to this mom!
Kudos. This is where the child learns to understand that humility is something from which we garner wisdom. My guess is daughter will think twice before she humiliates her Mom again.
ReplyDeletePublic shaming is never a good thing for anyone and certainly not a child. Eliminating access to Facebook would have been sufficient.
ReplyDeleteSomeone ought to send Mom to http://www.facebook.com/help/parents so that she can deal with the problems more appropriately.
It is awesome she did something-- but yeah it might have gone a little far.
ReplyDeleteI saw this on the Today Show too.....What a clever mom!!!
ReplyDeleteDepends on the child!! I think punishments that fit the crime but also have a sense of humor are fabulous! It might have been slightly embarrassing for her daughter, but we don't know what she said about her Mom! I have a feeling that whatever she wrote was much much worse than this pic!
ReplyDeleteI don´t think it´s humorous or creative, I only think it shows great immaturity and no respect for her daughter at all - so it surely won´t teach her daughter anything good. It´s hurtfull and mean and embaressing. I don´t think it´s my job as a mom to be as immature as my children are, on the contrary.
ReplyDeleteI have a teenage sister who has on occasion disrespected our Dad on Facebook, and he totally calls her out on it, or one of us siblings/family members do and she quickly takes it down. After a few times my parents pulled the plug on her account and it took awhile before she got priviliges again. Wouldn't you know she hasn't said anything bad since! "But everyone has a facebook!!!!"
ReplyDeleteMy daughter recently had an issue on FB, talking to a boy, a friend of her older brother, that is about 4 years older than she is (13) in a way that was completely inappropriate! I changed the password on FB account, telling her that she is obviously not old enough to handle that type of freedom. I also took her phone away from for a month, it has been about 4 months and she has not said one word about FB, she was as embarrassed as I was. I am not going to tell her that I can't remember the password I changed it too! LOL!
ReplyDelete