5.17.2013

The Great Mother's Day Debate...



My friend Wendy, from Ordinary Miracles, shared a Facebook blog post from Baby Sideburns entitled Ten Things I Really F'ing Want For Mother's Day with me last week.

The author, Karen Alpert, really stirred up some Facebook controversy with her post that has already generated 221 comments and over 300k "likes".

Here is what Karen "Really F'ing Wants" for Mother's Day this year:

"1. I don’t want to wipe a single a$$ all day. I think all kids should have to hold their poop in on Mother’s Day. Now that would make it special.

2. I want brunch. But not with the whole frigging family. I want brunch with my other mommy friends. See ya, rugrats. Mommy’s coming back drunk on laughter and bloody marys.

3. I want to sleep in. But not with my hooligans shouting “MOMMYYYYYY!!!” at the top of their lungs and ramming one of those giant cannon thingies into the door to bust inside. To all the hubbies reading this: when the rugrats wake up, take them outside immediately. Not downstairs. OUTSIDE. That’s right, scoop them up in a football hold and rush them out the door. I’m F’ing serious. Change their diapers and their clothes on the front lawn if you have to. Just don’t let them wake my ass up.

4. I want a card. But not a stupid Hallmark card. I want one of those awesome homemade ones made with macaroni. Only I want the macaroni cooked and poured into a bowl and covered with a delicious cream sauce and paired with a giant bottle of red wine.

5. Jewelry jewelry jewelry. Unless it’s one of those stupid necklaces made with cheap plastic beads. None of that $h!t. Unless Tiffany’s is suddenly selling overpriced plastic bead necklaces. That can be returned for money. Because I don’t want to exchange it and the only thing I can afford is a stupid a$$ pen or keychain.

6. I want you to cook breakfast for me. In someone else’s kitchen.

7. I want to pee and poop alone. I will prepare for the day by downing a tanker truck full of liquid and eating ridiculous amounts of fiber.

8. I want chocolate. But not just any ole chocolate. I want the kind that someone has taken a fat Sharpie to and blacked out the F’ing calorie section.

9. I want a good present. Like one I’ll really like. It’s not the thought that counts. It’s MY thought that counts. And my thought should not be WTF?

10. I want ten “Leave me the f--k alone” coupons with no expiration date."

**some curse words were cleaned up a bit by me for my readers**

Mother's Day 2013 with my boys

I know I'm stirring the pot here, and you can hop on over to Karen's post to read some of the comments there, but let's start a discussion here also.

It's Feedback Friday....

What do you think about Karen's list of 10 things she "f'ing" wants for Mother's Day? 

21 comments :

  1. That was over the top. I totally understand the whole wanting to be left alone to have a relaxing day on mother's day. However, the way she put it just sounded like a giant tirade.

    There are so many better ways to say "I want a relaxing day where I don't have to cook, clean, take care of the daily childcare duties, and get a nice gift."

    I was reading through the comments and someone said something along the lines of: there's a fine line between snarky/sarcastic and bitter. This post crossed that line.

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  2. I just have to hope that she was trying to be funny, but I agree w/ Jill she sounds a little bitter.

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    1. Don't you think these comments would be totally different said while laughing over coffee (or wine??) with your girlfriends out of the range of little ears?

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    2. That's the problem with typing-you can't tell tone, and she sounds scary-angry more than snarky-funny. The other problem with publishing this,is that even if her kids can't read now-they will someday.

      I remember that for my 30th b-day, I wanted nothing more than to send all the kids to my mom's and to lay in bed all day reading and napping (2 things I never did). It was a fabulous day.

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  3. I think it was hilarious. I'm not gonna lie - I have thoughts those same thoughts myself when I was overtired or stressed - we all have. Privately. In my own head. I tirade privately in my head. But truthfully, I miss the days of them being little kids, not gnarly teens. And I have treasured most everything I got for Mother's Day if only because they paused and thought of ME. (:

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    Replies
    1. I can agree with you that on one hand it is funny and certainly something I have thought or even mentioned joking with my girlfriends, but publishing online is where I think she crossed the line. Mostly because her children might see it and feel hurt.

      Trust me, motherhood is no joke and can drive you crazy but I'm not sure EVERY passing thought is no worthy of public consumption!

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  4. Ha, ha, ha!
    This made me really laugh out loud!
    I´m not a huge fan of Mother´s Day anyway, and, as Rusttown Mom above said, we all have such thoughts from time to time. And it really helps getting them out.
    If she´d said them to her kids - that would have been cruel and terrible.
    But writing them down on facebook, if her kids don´t read them - I think that´s a good solution.
    I remember the time when my twins were really little, and I had four kids aged 5, 3 and twice 6 months, and I was just tired and frustrated. I had a friend in a similar situation, and once, I asked her "Don´t you also think this is a terrible time and wonder why we´re doing all this?"
    She reacted really shocked, and said "a mom should never even think those things".
    I believe such an attitude is not really helpfull. When you feels something, it´s no help pushing it down and hiding behind a fake smile - I don´t want my kids to grow up with a fake mom, and I don´t expect them to fake happiness all the time in return. If they´re angry, let them show it, too.
    And later, let´s all hug and cuddle and paint together.

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  5. As a SAHM, I feel this way some times.I am literally "on the job" 24/7 and despite my immense love for my children, it DOES get exhausting. And I think the over-the-topness is what makes it fabulous.

    And, I think by criticizing her, we're further perpetuating society's standard for Moms being super-moms. So what if we've had these types of thoughts? She was brave enough to put it out there so other moms feeling the same exacerbation don't feel so isolated.

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    Replies
    1. As mothers we all have to be responsible about what goes out publicly since typed words are so easy to misunderstand, misinterpret. I think we all agree here that those thoughts have crossed all of our minds.

      Is it brave to put that out where your kids could see and/or people could misconstrue or is it mean?

      Is it funny to say that off the cuff to your friends? Of course! Think about your own child sitting down at the computer to read this...is it still as funny? Something to think about and this is where my mind immediately went went I read this even as I found myself chuckling.

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    2. If my child is old enough to be surfing the internet/reading my blog by themselves, they should be old enough to understand the sarcasm. I mean, ANYTHING we put down can be read by them and that's what you get for being a Blogging Parent. Pre-having children I would have thought horribly about this mom and now I don't. Because these thoughts are normal and that's something this Mom would have to communicate with their child.

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  6. I'm not judging her for having the thoughts at all! I have 10 year old twins, both on the autism spectrum, and I think stuff like that all the time. It's not what she said that gets under my skin, it's the way she said it. It makes us all sound bad.

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    Replies
    1. I think you voiced it perfectly - we ALL have these feelings but it's the way it's said that makes it come off a certain way. Also, the platform - a public forum vs. with your girlfriends or husband.

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    2. It's called tongue in cheek.

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  7. I think it's hilarious. Pretending that we haven't all had a similar thought at one point or another during our times as mothers downplays the fact that we are very, very human.

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    1. I can honestly say I have never been disappointed when presented with "jewelry" made from pasta or "cheap plastic beads".

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    2. Bet you've been sick of dirty diapers, though ;)

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    3. Totally, but that's my point about how I can agree with much of what she said but she just took it a little too far by complaining about sweet gifts from her kids like macaroni necklaces the same as dirty diapers.

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  8. Yay! No more of those! Wait...lots of dirty socks laying and boys who forget to flush...things change, but don't always get better! I will miss them someday and remember all the good stuff - but I will also remember the frustration and exhaustion even as I pat myself on the back for keeping them alive and my sanity whole. Also, that fact about the internet - nothing on it ever goes away - makes you pause and think. Maybe when her kids are older she can explain the sarcastic nature of it and give them a big hug. Hopefully, they will have inherited a healthy sense of humor from their mother. (:

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  9. I only have one child at the moment with one on the way and I've had moments where I just long to be alone, but as soon as I'm alone I find myself missing my little one. I didn't know what I was getting into having children, but I don't think I could write down those kind of those for anyone to read without feeling terrible. I definitely understand that kind of humor, but I feel like she takes it too far. To me, Mothers day is a day for kids to show you that they love you in the way they know best. Sometimes it's not relaxing as one might hope for but I can't wait for when my little one is old enough to make and bring me breakfast all by himself.

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