Dear Next Door Neighbor

Dear Strange Neighbor Next Door,

Thank you for finally taking down the decorated faux Christmas trees that have been on your front porch since November. Though I admired your gumption to get those decorations out early this year, I never meant that to mean I wanted them out ALL THE TIME.

I realize you thought that because you dragged them behind the brick pillars on your porch that they were hidden and you didn't need to rush...trust me, you did. Usually, when the next major holiday rolls around (did you see the Easter Egg hunt over here?!), and you hang your lovely faux stone molded flowers on that same porch, it's time to pack it up for the next year.

Though it wasn't as disturbing, the pile of grapevine deer left in a lonely pile in the flower bed wasn't my favorite either. Again, just because they were behind some bushes, they are still visible by anyone over 3 feet tall.

While we're at it, let's talk about the cardboard box on the same front porch. I know that you think because the porch has a roof, that you're screened from everyone...well, you're not. I, too, let my kids make a fort out of a cardboard box BUT IT'S IN THE BASEMENT!! Yes, your 3 year old is cute and dear, but he hardly ever plays in it and it's an eyesore covered in marker and half collapsed there next to your front door.

Hey, I have an idea, why don't you stick all that stuff in your 4 CAR GARAGE that sits half empty over there?!?

Finally, I want to suggest you dispose of the 4 foot tall birdcage that sits on your side porch. YOU DON'T HAVE A BIRD!!!




  1. You have one of those neighbors too? Lord...they're all over the place!

  2. yup, every neighborhood has one.

    ours is 4 houses down. it is like sanford and son.


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