6.17.2009

Simple Home Remedies and Household Tips

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES and HOUSEHOLD TIPS:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO
HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF
LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND
DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE
THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE
THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN
ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

8. IF YOU ARE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. THE BLOCKAGE WILL IMMEDIATELY CLEAR.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD
FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE
WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

PS(I can't believe I have to say this, but you know this is a joke, right? Don't be callin' me up after you take those laxitives!)

6 comments :

  1. LOL! Thanks for the laugh...and I didn't even have to wait for your Sunday Funny!

    I love the slinky comment...that probably wouldn't be a big seller on one of your Mom-tra plaques though, huh?! I'd consider purchasing...(wink)

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha! very funny. see, here, if someone is on the toilet, the boys just use the shower, or in the case yesterday...right out the back door...onto the girls. ahh...the joys of motherhood.
    ps - i am attempting the carrie shoes today. i will let you know how they turn out!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jennifer, I'mmmm back. Sorry for being away for a few days. I'm trying to catch up on your most recent posts that I hadn't yet commented on. I loved the list - especially the toilet seat one.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ;D Those are great! Love the snooze alarm, laxative one and the high blood pressure. lol Thanks for the chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  5. As the handy one in the family, I love the one about the hammer....
    :-) Sue

    ReplyDelete
  6. I just found you blog. This post is too funny. I haven't laughed this hard for a long time. Thanks!!!

    ReplyDelete

Tell me what you think!

 

Template fueled by Blogger. Customized for Hope Studios by Brightfish Designs. ©2009
  • BrightfishDesigns at Hotmaildotcom