I'm in the homestretch of summer vacation. All around me I hear mothers talking about how much they are looking forward to school starting in two weeks. They're tired, stressed, overwhelmed. I'm all those things, but still clinging to the next 14 days with my boys. I'm frantically trying to fit in all the last minute memories and fun times before they are off to spend 8 hours away from me. Off to spend all their good hours of the day with another woman who will step in where I left off.
I'm jealous of her, will they miss me? Will they remember all the good times we shared this summer or just the times I cracked under the pressure and sent everyone to their rooms for fighting? Will they wish for a fun crazy lunch or look forward to the cafeteria food? Will the accidentally call their teacher "mom", will they accidentally call me "Mrs. Dehart"? Will they talk about their fun summer with their friends, or complain about how boring it was?
I've reached the point in vacation where tears flow easily if I really stop to think. I type this frantically, trying to fit all my ideas onto the page, with one small tear escaping from the corner of my eye.
Oh, how I love those boys. I get tired and overwhelmed like everyone else, but they are my light. Their little faces, their giggles, smiles, hugs, the 20 times a day I hear "love you, mom". I'm going to miss them. I'm really going to miss them.
This will be my first year with all three boys in school all day. Yes, my Helper Munchkin is moving on, growing up. I'm clinging to the next 14 days in hopes that they will fuel me during the school year ahead. Oh, I'll see them when I volunteer in the class and pass them in the halls and after the long bus ride. But, it isn't the same. After school will be filled with sports, homework, CCD, not crafts, adventures, chats. Life will take on the harried school year vibe and I will miss them.
I'll be a displaced worker, a mom without kids...what do you do when your skills are no longer needed?
I've done this before. I know there will come a point in the school year when we will all be happy school is in session, but this is a page out of my book in this moment. In this moment I'm kissing, hugging, clinging to my last 14 days...
.
I feel the same way you do. Just wait until you have to take them to college, that is so very, very hard. Enjoy your last days of summer, we have 3 days left.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your last 14. I remember sending my youngest to school. My husband used to love telling me that I was working myself out of a job. Never happened. :)
ReplyDelete~lori
Stopping in from SITS... I'm not a mom, but I must say, just from my experiences as a kid... teachers NEVER even come close to replacing mom (especially if you get a mean one!)
ReplyDeleteHug them extra hard when they get off that school bus, and make them want to come home every day :)
p.s. that is a super sweet photo :)
If it makes you feel any better, some of us teachers aren't looking forward to going back to school, either! SITS sent me over, and I'm glad they did...
ReplyDeleteI have always had to work (being a single mom for 12 years, I had no other choice!). I used to love when school started because that meant that we got back into a necessary routine. But having 2 in college and only 1 left in school I have learned to dread it! I only have 2 years left before my youngest graduates from high school and doesn't need me anymore! Savor every minute you have, it goes entirely too fast!
ReplyDeletei am with you...2 days for us...then my baby girl will not longer be a baby...she will be a kindergartner! (YIKES!!..lol) i am trying to make a list of things to do the 1st week that i would not be able to do with her in tow..to help me not miss her quite as bad...and to aide in the transition. for us...this is all new..it's exciting, but it a totally a new chapter for both of us.xox
ReplyDeleteAwww. :(
ReplyDeleteI feel the same. My kids are already back in school, but it was hard!
I don't know, I think it's really sweet. So many moms I know just can't WAIT for school to start back, which is understandable. But you seem to love every single minute you get to spend with your boys. I hope I like my kids that much when I have them. ;-)~
ReplyDeleteI'm a full-time working mommy so I go through this each and every day. I miss my little guy (and the big guy, too!) every moment of every day. I cling to weekends, vacations, evenings and holidays with every fiber of my being.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same. The heartache has begun. It'll be my first year with both girls in school 5 days a week. Just a few hours each day, but still. It's a big step. For me.
ReplyDeleteAnd, oh, I'll probably be partying in a few weeks celebrating my freedom, but for now: *WAAHHH!! MY BAAABIEEEES!*
It is hard; and they just keep growing.
ReplyDeletejust dropping by from SITS to say hi; hope you'll do the same.
Oh, I've been struggling with the same thing all last week. My son isn't the easiest child, and having him home has made juggling my Etsy shop hard. But, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I will miss him immensely. I'll be loading the shop back up in a week and keeping myself busy so I don't dwell on it too much. They grow up way too fast don't they? Sigh.. at least we aren't alone in feeling this way.
ReplyDeletewhat a sweet post.......but believe it or not they will ALWAYS need you and miss you!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteenjoy your next 14 days!!!!!
You have just made me love your blog even more. I am a retired teacher; but, let me tell you that children from a loving home like yours were absolutely THE MOST FUN to teach.
ReplyDeleteIf they ever did call me Mom, I felt like it was such a compliment that I might have come close to giving them an experience that was close to the fun that they could have had at home (be it a fun experience or one of educational enlightenment)----what a compliment!!!
Love those little boys tons and tons these next 15 days, but know that you are growing within them a love for you that will never go away and will only magnify itself.
You go, Mom!!!!
Awww...it never does get any easier, does it. I was just talking about this with my sister in law. That first morning when you walk home from the bus stop all by yourself is a kicker.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog today while searching for the perfect "ribbon flower" for one of my latest projects, and I read your current post...I could not agree more with what you are experiencing!
ReplyDeleteAs a mom of two girls, every August sends me into endless fits of irrational sappiness and uncontrollable teary eyes. Something tells me that it's never going to get easier, which is oddly comforting.
I plan to do a little "Back to School Shopping" of my own...on my list:
*Box of Kleenex - maybe 2 boxes.
*White Chocolate Latte from local coffee shop - Biggie sized.
*The newest Picoult novel that I STILL haven't had the chance to read yet.
*Sweatpants (I figure, if I'm going to cuddle up for my tearfest, I might as well be wearing a new pair of pants)
I'll be rootin' you on from here! We can do this! :-)
You girls always make me feel better and not so crazy :)
ReplyDeleteyep me too- my little guy starts the big K next week
ReplyDeleteJennifer I love, LOVE this post. I am feeling the same way, as my oldest starts first grade in 9 more days, and will be gone all day this year. I am so not looking forward to that. I'm so happy that my little guy has another year before preschool, and that's only 2 hours per day! I've seen so many status updates on Facebook these past couple of weeks, of moms who cannot wait for their kids get back to school...I really hope I never feel that way...can't imagine. Anyway, I'm glad to read someone else is feeling the same way that I am feeling.
ReplyDeleteLori, I think you're right with your comment; I don't want to think about my little girl going off to college. She's just starting Pre-K this year, but from birth to now flew by.
ReplyDeleteoooooohhhhh Miss!!!!!! Thanks so much for putting into words my exact feelings!!!!!!! My heartache is getting worse by the day
ReplyDeletemy heart aches a little for you ... soak them up & then plan a REALLY big project! :)
ReplyDeleteps ... I have a feeling that you have left permanent worlds-greatest-mom marks etched into each of their hearts.