11.16.2009

The Switch

I have a switch. It's the one that sounds like "itch" and begins with a "B". It doesn't get tripped often - but when it does, my heart pounds and impulse takes over.

So, let's set the scene...shall we?

It's an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, it's sunny, I'm happily approaching one of my favorite stores...la, la, la (skip, skip)...

This is the intersection in question. (To answer your question, yes, I drove back to the scene of the incident like a crazy person to photograph this for you)

I stood on the corner of the sidewalk on the right and a car was approaching the stop sign to the left...



See the stop sign??? It's clearly a stop sign! And just in case the large red octagon is too ambiguous for you, the word STOP is painted on the road next to it.



Here, let's take a look from the driver's perspective. Yep, definitely a stop sign.

Imagine me stepping off the curb on the opposite side. Imagine how I'm walking briskly because of all the crafty goodness that lies just beyond those doors. Imagine how excited I am to not have any kids while I'm doing this.



Now, imagine that I'm hearing the stopped car approaching...it's approaching kind of close...it's actually accelerating! Imagine me kind of quick stepping it a little faster as I glance a few times toward the accelerating car thinking "Holy crap! I've obviously just gained the power to become invisible and I can't even use this power to spy or prank people! I'm going to get hit by this car before I can even put this power to good use tapping my friends on the shoulder or moving chairs before people can sit down!"

And then...flick! The switch gets tripped (the bitch one) as I look into the windshield and see the person does indeed see me, and is just impatient.

So, now I have two choices. The first makes the most sense and is certainly the one I should have chosen: RUN! But, see, the switch was tripped and all self control is lost. I start to hustle a little faster, then, impulse takes over and I. Stop.

That's it, I. Just. Stop. I stand there with my hands on my hips, giving the most withering "Mom stink eye" I can muster and shout (no, I'm not proud of myself) "Seriously?! No, SERIOUSLY?!? You are accelerating toward me while I'm crossing in the CROSSWALK? SERIOUSLY??" (I'm not sure why I felt compelled to repeat the word "seriously" so many times. It just felt right)

The person then stopped accelerating and continued to drift toward me as I turned and took my own sweet time across the street and into the solace of my favorite JoAnn's - a whole parking lot full of people staring after me, gaping.

The end.

34 comments :

  1. This same exact thing happened to me while trying to cross the intersection to go into Target. People are unbelievable! I could pretty much touch the bumper of the car and I yelled the same thing "seriously!?! were you going to stop?" Then I am pretty sure I added the word asshole in there somewhere...

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  2. I hope you put that frustration to good use and broke into a serious round of retail therapy in JoAnns.
    So... did you?

    I've got another home now - a place to smart off
    http://whatsafter29.blogspot.com

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  3. Good for you!!! I've been in a very similar situation, crossing at a set of lights, with the green walking man... but was not so nice in what I said to the driver. I think there were a few choice words spilling out of my mouth... we must be careful of these road ragers though!

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  4. Nothing to be ashamed of Jen. At the very LEAST, hopefully your actions will make that wacko person think twice next time he/she approaches a crosswalk. Unbelievable people!

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  5. Good for you!!! I am wondering if you live in the some town as I do! Parking lots are more dangerous than the streets around here. At least they weren't talking on their cell phone!

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  6. I have a tendency to yell at stupid people in parking lots too. Stupid people really upset me.

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  7. So I am not the only one that shouts at people when I see them being complete idiots!

    Stupid people here in Australia too!!!

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  8. GOOD FOR YOU! I hate when people do things like this. Pedestrians always have the right of way, ESPECIALLY when they are in a cross walk!

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  9. You have the best stories! What was the driver's reaction? Any remorse?

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  10. I would have stopped and shouted too. People like that trigger the same "itch" in me. What is with them? At least you were heading somewhere you love, could have been a totally different scene if you were going for something you dreaded like dental surgery. Seriously.

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  11. I've totally had moments like that... and although you may not have been proud at the time, sometimes people just need a wake up call, you know??

    Love the blog :)

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  12. Some drivers just annoy the hell out of me! Men complain about women drivers, but women are the most careful drivers! The only time I shout and scream is at other drivers that totally annoy the S**t out of me!

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  13. Oh my goodness!!! I love you more then words can say! So glad that I'm not the only one who yells at stupid people ;) last year at Christmas time we almost got hit by some dippy lady in her SUV. SHE glared at US...in the crosswalk...right next to the stop sign. I glared back...and might have gave her the universal gesture of telling her she's #1..and yelled "Merry Christmas ya jerk!"....then my hubby grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me across the intersection! Come to think of it, my switch might be broke! I have no tolerance for idiots!

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  14. GOOD for YOU Jennifer! I do the same thing when drivers to that to me. Every now & then that "switch" happens. Now & then I just get a little bit itchy. =)
    Have a blessed day!
    ~ Jill

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  15. Good for you Jen! I would (and do) do the same thing. Maybe it is just the "Mom" part of me that thinks WTH are these people thinking? Do they not realize that there are usually children in parking lots in addition to rest of us. I am not nice when it comes to stupidity! Just ask my husband...LOL

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  16. Glad you are o.k. and that you stood up for yourself! I run into this som many times where I think, "Hello! I can't believe you just did that!" I so don't know what is going on in this world that it seems like so many are so self consumed and unaware of anyone else in the world around them.

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  17. I think you did exactly what you should have done. I'm so tired of people being so selfish and only thinking about what they need and not obeying the rules of the road or the parking lot or whatever. Yes, that person may have been in a hurry... or really needed to get to starbucks, but that doesn't give them the right to not do what they are supposed to do. Ugh. This is one of my pet peeves.

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  18. Jen, I'm back. Sorry to have been MIA for a few days.

    That is a crazy story. And unfortunately, one that happens more and more often these days. The icing on the cake would have been if the driver had been texting.

    Good for you and like Annie said, I'm proud of you!

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  19. Sometimes I wish I could swear...but it just isn't in me. So...SERIOUSLY!...gets used a lot by me too! Good for you! Holly:)

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  20. Jennifer, I think you did the absolutely right thing. It's really annoying to see people impatient around crosswalks. I don't know what's their problem, and I don't care. But sadly, this thing happens to all of us. Too bad, I can't yell back (I'm so shy). The only one time I yelled I was almost hit ( the bumper touched my leg) and I just said "SERIOUSLY?!?" Are these people stupid?

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  21. Good for you! My husband and I were nearly run over in the crosswalk at a Meijer and the fool was driving so fast, he was out of reach by the time my switch was flipped. Ridiculous. Glad you gave that driver a little deserved attitude. :)

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  22. LOL Excellent!

    Now I'm the type of person that wouldn't say anything, and probably wouldn't even acknowledge them, but would have just continued to walk slowly as if I was unaware that they were even there. All the while, my heart would be beating a mile-a-minute, and I'd be praying that they didn't run me down, but I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of rushing, and would in fact get satisfaction from making them wait!

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  23. Has the steam stopped coming out of your ears yet? Some people are so crappy!

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  24. Good for YOu! I can't stand impatience in people in cars VS the pedestrians on the sidewalk. Good grief! You are in a parking lot for crying out loud. SLOW DOWN!

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  25. Good for you! I would've done the same thing! It's already the rush of the "holidays." It's a shame that the best time of the year to celebrate such a wonderful Gift is ruined by selfish, impatient people.

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  26. Almost the same exact thing happened to me when I was PREGNANT and it was RAINING!!!! Never even slowed down!!!

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  27. people are great aren't they? haha. i just did a post with the word seriously in all red caps directed at a mc donald's employee!

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  28. Why are people so impatient these days? Seriously, I don't get it. The whole 5 seconds to wait for you to cross is going to do what for them? Seriously.

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  29. I would have applauded you! It is so annoying when people are driving without paying attention.

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