5.12.2010

Mother's Day - A Reality Check

86/365

Last week, on several "mommy blogs" and other mom oriented newsletters, I saw a trend. Mother's Day was looming and posts began to focus on the negative, as we so often do. Posts entitled, "10 Things I Hate About Motherhood" and "World's Worst Mother's Day Gifts" began circulating and seemed to be embraced by the readers. I felt sad.

I love being a mom. There, I said it. I love it.

I hate laundry, cleaning bathrooms, laundry...but none of those things ever make me feel differently about motherhood. I have never looked at a single gift my kids has ever given me and thought "Well, that sucked."

My 3 boys climbed into bed with me and gave me coupon books, poems, pictures, and pens decorated to look like flowers and I laughed and cried and handed things to The Big Guy to read aloud as I became too choked up to speak. Yes, the stories were about how much they love donuts and how crazy mom is when she drinks caffeine but I love those dang kids so much I just drank it all in - the gifts, the hugs, the kisses. I laid there in bed with 3 kids on my lap at once (and those kids are getting BIG) and tried to save every moment in a little capsule to draw up at a later time when they won't want to do this anymore. I live for this.

I commented on the blog, but realized that I couldn't think of something I hate about motherhood, but rather myself - My desire to excel at this most important job and never really knowing if I am.

I know it's cool to be negative and snarky, but Mother's Day and motherhood itself should be off limits. I love being a mom, and I can't bash it, not even if it's the cool thing to do.

So, happy belated Mother's Day to all of you. I hope you love it as much as I. I hope you got lots of useless gifts that touched your heart and made you cry. I hope you press them in a book because this stage of our lives is so very short.

You still have a few more days to link up with the Tutorial Tuesday party to win a gift certificate to my shop! Winner will be announced this weekend!

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39 comments :

  1. awwww, so sweet and so true. my kiddos are older now and I don't get the useless gifts (which I miss and still have in the bottom of my drawer).

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  2. Super post! How I miss those funny wonderful useless gifts. Cherish each and every moment. They grow up way too fast.

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  3. I love this post. I feel the same way...I also get worn down by laundry, endless picking-up, etc., but oh, how I love being a mother. I could drop my son off on the playground each morning at school, but I walk him in, because he wants me to, and because I know that in a few short years, he'll be requesting that I drop him off around the corner, a block from school. I don't get the whole "motherhood-bashing" thing - - I guess it makes people feel better to complain, and feel even better when others chime in...don't know. Anyway, thanks for posting this.

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  4. I love being a mom also, but I didn't see any negative mommy posts on the blogs I read. Hopefully they were tongue-in-cheek! I posted a mother's day dessert that my youngest made...and I ate it! lol LOVE Mother's Day. Check it out if you have a minute!

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  5. I'm right with ya sista! I love being a MOM and always have. I know there are many people out there that disagree, but it is the most rewarding job I've ever had!! Great picture!!

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  6. This was great. I think the same way. A friend recently sent me a *supposed to be* humourous email about hwy we should hate Mothers day, I didn't make it past #2. I like Mothers day, I like being a daughter, a daughter in law and a mom. :)

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  7. I got a little note from my 18 year old daughter...(who graduates this Sunday) and oh my gosh.....I cried...not a few tears but I really cried!!!! I too had my husband read it and he also got quite teary~eyed!!!!! so hold on to your little guys tight...before you know it they will be getting ready to head off to college and start their new adventure in life!!!!!! :)
    I am so excited for her...but for my own selfish reasons I want her to stay here and not grow up!!! :)

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  8. Word to your mother!...Um, I mean I agree with you :) There is nothing better than a scribbly picture or a sloppy kiss just because or snuggling with them during a thunderstorm...nothing in the whole world.

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  9. Well said! Maybe it's because it too us so long to have our Little Guy come into our lives, but I cherish every moment and believe everyone should.

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  10. Isn't that what mom's day is all about---cheesey cards and drippy paintings! (Jamie made me the coolest necklace ever, Riley wanted to get me purple flowers...and Corey was sooooo proud of his "potatoes" plant (grape tomatoes!). But, to be totally honest---I was a crab!---WW3 broke out while I was showering (dad wasn't home from his shift yet) and I only got one leg shaved...by the time we got to church, I was ready to drop them All off and take myself to see Ironman! In the end it was a really nice day and I felt very appreciated :)

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  11. What! I also LOVE being a mother. I would not have missed any of it for anything. My guys are 26 and 28 and you know what they gave me? My 26 year old borrowed his girlfriends Cricut machine and made me the most beautiful card...the envelope and everything. It was prettier than any card I ever purchased. Inside he wrote the most wonderful verse about how he has loved having me as his mom...I cried big time. My 28 year old (the stand-up comedian) got me in my laugh zone. He sent me the most hilarious vintage Calvin and Hobbes Mother's Day cartoon..it was good to belly laugh after the big cry. So I'm with you Jen...Motherhood rocks my world!!!!!!!

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  12. I agree with you...it was a wonderful day. The kids were still rowdy and fighting, but I loved their gifts...always have. Including the pet rock with a feather for hair and a mini I LOVE MOM mug with a plastic bear attached to it. It's sweet that they WANT to get me something...that's what matters. They are just so darn excited to show me what they made/got for me too. Happy Belated Mother's Day to you too!

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  13. What a great post, so beautifully said. Your children are so lucky that you are their mama! I too love motherhood, even with all the mess, noise, chaos, activities and laundry...I wouldn't trade one minute of it. Thank you for sharing these inspiring words today!

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  14. PS That picture is so adorable! Beautiful kids and mom.

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  15. I love your blog but I've never commented (I know! I'm sorry!) but I had to on this one. You are so right on, I can barely stand it. I waited for what seemed like forever to be a mom and it is truly a gift from God - I treasure every second of it and wish that those sweet, precious moments could last forever. Mother's day was even better than my birthday :) It's a privilege to be called "Mommy" and my heart hurts for those that see it otherwise. Thanks so much for your post!

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  16. Well said! Great post. I love being a mom too. We have three kids and are thinking about trying again. People drive me crazy because they think I'm nuts. Why would I want another child? they say. Kids are so expensive... wild... you're so busy already... blah blah blah.

    To me, my kids are what life is all about. They are priceless even at the frustrating moments. I love being a mom!

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  17. Huh, how odd that mommybloggers would put posts up like that... ?? Moms hating on mothers day?? That totally confuses me.

    That is a GREAT pic, by the way. It's a framer for sure!

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  18. Thanks for sharing this. I know we all get frustrated with our kids and ourselves (we all have bad days), but to HATE motherhood??? I don't understand. I have two small kiddos that I stay home with, and some days are very trying. Even when I get upset I can't imagine sending them to a day care and only seeing them for 2 hours a day. I love that God has blessed me with my two youngins and that I am able to stay at home with them.

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  19. I absolutely agree with you. While I may whine and complain sometimes about the STUFF that comes along with motherhood (pee-soaked bathrooms, laundry, picky eaters), I cherish my role as MOM to my 3 boyz and wouldn't trade it for the world.

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  20. FANTASTIC post, Jennifer! There are definitely days when I feel frustrated and overwhelmed and maybe a bit melancholy, but those days are so far and few between. I am savoring this time with my children because they grow so FAST. My oldest is about to lose her first tooth. I so distinctly remember the feel of her asleep on my chest during her afternoon nap and now she's so independent.

    I am a firm believer in filling my head and heart with uplifting things. I'm glad you responded with joy instead of negativity. Motherhood isn't the easy thing that we sometimes see on TV or in the movies, but it is incredible.

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  21. Great post. Motherhood is a gift. I can't imagine what it is like to have babies and hate being their mom. You are blessed and your children are blessed too to have each other.

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  22. The juggling is sometimes tough, but only beacuse I want to give each of them all of my attention. I love being a Mom too.

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  23. ooo---"10 Things I HATE About Motherhood"? I think "hate" is maybe a bit too strong of a word. :s

    I hope I don't come across as too negative or snarky on my blog. I try to focus more on the funny stuff my kids do (like stuffing a bunch of trash in the toilet...okay, not funny at the time, but hilarious now) so that other moms can laugh along with me.

    Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever had. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I mostly noticed positive MD posts last week, so maybe that's good for me--kept my spirits up. ;)

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  24. Oh, I saw some of these posts too and it just saddens me! Yep, I have days when my kids drive me crazy (so maybe I shouldn't have stayed up until 1 reading a book ) And days when I want to "quit" my job ☺! But those moments are few and my kids will only be this age for this second. They change and grow so quickly. You have to stop and overlook the negative things, cherish the little things and stop and enjoy EVERY moment! Life is a rollercoaster! Don't be afraid to jump on and have fun!
    Happy late mothers day to you! You look gorgeous and your sons are SO handsome! Good luck tonight ;)

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  25. Here Here!! It's good to be positive about motherhood. Of course we all need vents SOMETIMES but Mother's Day is special!!!
    Great picture of you and your boys!

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  26. just read your mothers day blog and wanted to say "thank you". I agree 100%. My children are now grown and expecting my first grandchild in November.....but, I still love, love, love the title of mother! Every aspect....still love to pick up the phone and hear "mom". It is an awesome responsiblity and unbelivable rewards!!!!!

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  27. I have to agree - I am my kids mom 100% even when the job is so hard and I feel discouraged! Just keep swimming!!

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  28. In all honesty, it hasn't been until the past few years that I have truly embraced being a mother and all the perks that come with it. 4 kids in five years and then...oops - there's a fifth... left me living in survival mode for a long time. And when you are just trying to stay afloat, you certainly can't appreciate anything except making it through another day.

    But NOW.

    NOW is different.

    Not trouble-free, not easy, but perfect. Finding perfection in the imperfection. Now that I can feel them slipping out from my grasp, I know. Being with them is what has transformed me into the person that I now am. A mother. Perhaps it just took me a few years under my belt (not having three kiddos in diapers definitely helps) to get my "sea legs."

    What wonderful legs they are too.

    (metaphorically speaking)

    (because my REAL legs - YIKES!)

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  29. I love this post! I tried for 8 years to get pregnant so for me Finally being a MOM is reward all in itself. My little 6month old girl is honestly the most amazing thing to ever happen in my life. So with that I take all that comes with it and wear a smile.

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  30. I completely love Mother's Day...and I will actually be crushed the year that the homemade, cheesy poem/art project type gifts dry up.

    Yikes, maybe next year I should skip the Hallmark card and instead make my mom a poem where every line starts with a letter spelling MOTHER? : )

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  31. I completely agree with you. I am so glad that you wrote this post.

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  32. Being a Mommy is the best job I have ever had! I cherish my special moments with my boys...Thanks for a positive post on motherhood (and yes the endless laundry is so not fun but it is a trade off, I guess).

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  33. I'm in the midst of toddler tantrum land and I still can't say it's cool not to be a mama. It's the best thing EVER!

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  34. Really that was circulating online? What is wrong with people? Being a mother is the best thing ever! I love being a mom too! I always say it! Embrace it people because it's gone in a blink of an eye! Sure it's hard work but anything that is worth anything is! :>

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  35. I do luv being a Mom, really I do. Aaah but tonight, I wish Calgon would take me away for 30 mins or so...and yes, I'd return.

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  36. I, too, strive to be THE.BEST.MOM.EVER but you really don't know how your doing at the most important job on earth until much later.....so...I just try and cherish every little thing....knowing they'll be grown and gone before I know it :(

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  37. AMEN!!! Parenthood isn't always fun but it's always worth it!

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  38. Wow, is it bad that I read the article about the 10 worst Mother's Day gifts, and I thought all of them sounded pretty cool? I'd take a new set of pots and pans or some awesome knives! LOL!

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