10.01.2010

** The Great Fork Incident...Conclusion...


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Okay, so to answer some questions and more information I've gathered since writing this:

The two classrooms of kids were supervised by my son's teachers (my son's class has two teachers due to the abundance of special ed./autistic students in his homeroom). The teacher who left is a J.V. soccer coach for the school.

There weren't enough chairs for all the kids to sit on since two classrooms of kids were together in one room.

The offender is a bookworm who doesn't usually cause any trouble. My son described him as walking on the bus with his nose in a book and walking off with his nose in book. He comes from a good family and I don't know of any other trouble he has gotten in.

I believe it started as boys messing around and the other student got carried away.

No teacher intervened when my son was hit with the book and I believe this is why it escalated.

The fork was actually brought out of the cafeteria by another student and the offending child asked to borrow it "to poke" my son.

Since it was a plastic fork, my son ended up with a deep scrape (that did bleed) but not a puncture - which would have been much worse. Neosporin is a wonder drug. There is no discernible infection.

The teacher never contacted me or the other parent. I contacted her and the other student's teacher via email. I demanded an explanation and gave her until the end of the next day to contact me with the student's punishment. She responded by admitting her fault and said she would have to refer the incident to the principal. She explained it happened in the last 10 minutes of school and she wasn't sure what to do since the buses were being called.

Immediately after emailing the teacher, I called the child's mother directly. I tried to be non-confrontational since I could tell the news had hit her like a ton of bricks. She confronted her son who admitted everything and stated he didn't know why he did it. She immediately brought her son to my house and he gave my son a heartfelt letter of apology and a face to face apology. The mother and the son were both crying. So far, I can't find any evidence that my son was at fault. The other child said it was all him.

The principal contacted me and told me they were determining the disciplinary action.

My son came home and told me the boy was given a 3 day suspension and was made to leave school immediately...however he was back yesterday...hmmm...further investigation will be necessary.

So, that is where we are right now. And yes, my son is now known as "the kid who got stabbed with a fork" and he is a little bit famous. It's uncomfortable fame, because he isn't allowed to discuss it because I don't want the other boy to be targeted and bullied.

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17 comments :

  1. What? He was allowed back after one day? Is that the Lindsay Lohan school of discipline?

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  2. I love that the mom and son came over and personally apologized to you and your son. It sounds like they were both truly sorry about the incident. I am surprised, however, that the kid was allowed back at school after one day of his three day suspension. There seems to be more to the story with that. Curious how that unfolds.

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  3. It sounds like a good kid that made a bad mistake. Does your son forgive him?

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  4. I'm glad the other mom came over there with him to apologize in person... and wasn't the my-boy-never-does-anything-wrong type of mom. Hopefully you get some good answers about the suspension.

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  5. Good for you in pursuing a resolution. I also admire you for your concern about the other boy being bullied due to this incident. It's great to hear parents that are involved in their children's lives. I am sure the other boy's mom appreciated your call and concern. If he thought this behavior was okay then he might continue with another child.

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  6. Wow---all I can say is that there's no punishment at school worse than what I'd give one of my kids for behaving like that---glad that the mom and the boy were heartfelt in their response (today, I have a feeling that most people would just blow you off)

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  7. Oh, good good good. Still not great that it happened, but glad to hear that it was resolved, probably as well as it could have been. It's always a relief when the grownups act like grownups, which seems like it isn't all that common.

    "The kid who got stabbed with a fork" thing will stick for a while, but it'll fade. Eons ago when I was in sixth grade, a kid in my class for some reason decided to sit on a pencil (pointy lead side up) and had to go to the ER over it. Since it was entirely his own stupidity he never lived that down... so if it's any comfort to your son, there are worse things to be famous for!

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  8. I seriously HATE the crap that can go on in school! A couple of weeks ago, my 1st grader was push down and punched by a fellow 1st grader in the hallway ~ no teacher in sight. He didn't tell me about it until the next morning ~ right before school. It took just about everything to keep me from going into that classroom and taking matters into my own hands if you know what I mean. Instead I got ahold of the teacher and principal. They were both (my son and the other boy) talked to and then the other kid was given a consequence. Of what I do not know. They wouldn't tell me and I know from my little guy that he was in school the next day. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Glad your son is ok, the school tried to make it right, and the parents of the other boy made him apologize in person. Have a great weekend Jen!

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  9. oh my goodness....i guess i missed a bit of action! this is crazy! i always worry about what's going to happen at school. this is totally uncalled for. kids can get seriously injured or even death...and the teacher didn't know what to do because the buses were being called! WOW-these teachers need to be put in check-you do not just let them leave. Ridiculous. I'm sorry this happened to your son and you....i'm glad you spoke to the mother and him but things have to change in the school systems...i hear more stories each day that make me leery of sending my kids to school but you have to. i hope everything works out...hugs! keep us further posted! xoxo

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  10. You are such a good Mom ;-)

    Janet xox

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  11. You are such a good Mom ;-)

    Janet xox

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  12. Wow, how scary. I'm glad it just ended up being a scratch...it sounds like the teacher handled it poorly (glad she admitted it and referred it to the principal, but the shortened suspension is odd...??).

    You and the other mom have handled it much better -- I'm impressed that she dealt with it so directly and they actually came over, and I have to applaud your decision to do what you can to help prevent having the other kid targeted or bullied too. Bullying is SUCH a big problem and we need more parents like you and the other mom, who are teaching their kids the right way to work through issues.

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  13. I'm glad that you got some resolution. I'm also glad that your son wasn't hurt much worse. It is curious that the culprit got to return to school after one day though....

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  14. Well, it's good the offending boy was remorseful, but I wonder why he was back in school after what was supposed to be a suspension? You'll have to get back to us on that one!

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  15. I'm really glad that the boy and his mother came to personally apologize. I hope that the offending boy is truly remorseful. You are such a good mother. I think it's amazing that you care enough to not have the other kid be bullied. I hope this all turns out well.

    Laura

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  16. I'm sorry this happened to your son! But it is a breath of fresh air to see that the mother of this boy cared, and made him apologize face to face and write it out. So many parents today brush that off and don't care. One boy made a very bad decision, your son caught in the middle. A great lesson in forgiveness also. Thanks for sharing.

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  17. Good news they came to apologize...I know this sounds weird...but I always think in situations like this, that at some point, some day I'm sure it's gonna be my kid doing something stupid.

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