10.01.2010

The Fork in the Road - Feedback Friday



Once upon a time, a 6th grade child's teacher had to leave early to coach soccer practice. She sent her students into another room to be dismissed for the day.

Once that child entered the other room he spotted a big, comfy chair he wanted to sit in but, alas, another child was already in it.

He decided to demand that the other child leave that chair. The other child refused.

He decided to hit the other child on the head with a book until he moved. The other child refused.

He pulled out a plastic fork from the cafeteria and stabbed the other child in the neck with it.

The injured child received a bandaid (no trip to the nurse) and was questioned as to what he did to prompt the attack and then they were all sent home on the bus together.

No parents were notified.

The child stabbed with the fork? MY SON!

It's Feedback Friday and there are any number of things that require feedback from this story. So HAVE AT IT!
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24 comments :

  1. um- how about taking the school to court to prove a point? Calling the local news station? Oh girl- the momma bear in me is rearing up on her hind legs and growling for your kiddo! What CAN you do legally to make sure things like this are taken seriously and never happen again? Doe this attacker have a history of violence that was ignore??

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  2. I would be at the superintendent's office ASAP and I would have my son to a Dr to make sure it is documented, medically and then I would make a quick call to the local TV station! Good Luck

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  3. I can NOT believe you weren't told of this event! That's outrageous!

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  4. I don't even know what to say!!!!! So wrong on so many levels...socially..medically..legally..and morally. My mouth is hanging open in disbelief!

    Janet xox

    Is your little ok??

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  5. Oh my goodness. I would be so angry. Your son could get some sort of nasty infection from the stab wound. I would be calling the principal, the superintendent, etc. This is ridiculous. The point isn't whether or not your son provoked this, the point is that a child was injured and nothing was done. This is nuts. I hope you get some sort of resolution.

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  6. WOW, that is nuts! I , unfortunately can believe no one contacted you, because that's just how things are. I feel so bad for your son. I know that most {if not all} school have a 0 tolerance bullying policy- I would go sit at the proncipal's office and not move until something happened!

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  7. This is so wrong on so many levels, it's crazy!
    If they think a plastic fork is harmless, what if it poked his eye? Geez Louise, I'd be so mad. And I'd be in there seeing the Principal demanding this be dealt with.
    I'm sorry this happened to you and to your boy Jennifer. I love your Feedback Fridays but not at the expense of your son's well being

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  8. PRINCIPAL---run don't walk---plant your behind in their office till you get seen! I don't care what your son did to egg this brat on, acting out in violence like that should Never be acceptable! Yeah, it sucks that she had to have another class for a bit, but really!?!!!

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  9. Wow! That is just awful and I am so sorry that you and your son had to go through that. Kids can be so unpredictable and mean sometimes but that is no excuse for that kind of behavior. I agree with everyone else that you should have been notified and the other child should have some sort of punishment or be held accountable for his actions. Good luck and let us know what happens!

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  10. I agree with the urge to make this as public as possible. On the other hand, your son may or may not want to be known as the kid who got stabbed with a plastic fork and whose mommy sued the school. That kind of thing doesn't get forgotten. Even if it feels righteous, you want to be very, very sure that it's worth the expense, time, and energy. It may be, just try some other things first...

    If you're comfortable doing it, I would suggest starting with the other child's own teacher. Did she know about this? Is there anything the school can do to make sure that this child doesn't hurt anybody else? (if he's carrying a plastic fork around, you can bet that your child isn't the first or last he's used it on.) Do the children get lessons on bullying, so they know that they can ask for help and get it, and that this kind of behavior isn't acceptable? Are there processes in place to help teachers follow through on what they teach?

    Next I'd talk to your child's teacher-- explain that this is the story, and ask why your son wasn't taken to the nurse's office. I'd focus on that, rather than why the teacher didn't punish the other child (taking a bleeding child to the nurse is a much more objective decision). Make this a health and safety concern. You appreciate that it was the end of the day in a doubly full classroom and that's a miserable situation to be in (in fact, I don't think that is even permitted in most school districts, for very good reason), but even if the injury didn't look serious, a phone call home would have been appreciated.

    If the teachers are unresponsive (sorry, there's nothing we can do), defensive (I didn't do anything wrong), etc., I would see what the principal does, and failing that the superintendent. If they are responsive, good. If they aren't, talk to your son and see if he knows whether there are any other kids who have been bullied; talk to their parents. If they won't listen to just you, they might listen to a bunch of you.

    Hugs for your son and for you.

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  11. Holy Crap! As a former teacher, there are so many things wrong with this scenario.

    Leaving early for soccer? Not acceptable (unless the teacher was the coach of a school sponsored team)

    No coverage for teacher leaving early? Not acceptable

    1 teacher covering 2 classes? Not acceptable

    Argument and physical response of 2 students? Not acceptable

    No teacher intervention? Not acceptable

    No notification of parents or school office of incident? Not acceptable!!!!

    Jennifer, you need to be the very loud,very squeaky wheel and be an advocate for your son.

    You go girl!

    Keep us posted!

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  12. I can't believe what I just read. Unbelievable!!! I think I know what you're going to be doing today. Let us know what happens.

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  13. Girl- your feedback fridays get my blood pressure up! I would have been up at the school in the teacher's face wanting to know why I was not notified when my son was injured!
    Your son's injury could have been bad.. if the kid had put that fork in his mouth and then broken skin, there could be infection.. so you definitely should have been told right away. I feel bad for your son, but my concern is with the kid that thought of repeatedly beating someone in the head with a book and stabbing someone with a fork when he didn't get his way! He needs to talk with a counselor (and I would demand it) and have it drilled in his head that that is not the way we handle things. Normal kids just don't do that.

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  14. Oh, some heads would roll over that one. And if not, I would take that school down brick by brick. The little perp and his parents should be held accountable.

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  15. That is just insane. I can't even imagine how angry you must feel. I'm sure you know what the right thing is in this situation. I hope your child is okay.

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  16. I think I'm in too much shock to respond. Were the kids left unsupervised? Who gave your child the band aid? If an adult was there how could they not know that this needed to be reported? Is this other kid normally a bully? Was this just sixth grade boys acting dumb? (I know that question may offend some people, but I remember the sixth grade boys I went to school with and there was a lot of posturing and stupid stuff that happened that was completely unintentional.)

    I think you need to start with the teacher and work your way up the chain of events of what happened, from everyone's perspective.

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  17. Wow - I am so sorry you are dealing with this. The bad part is this was 6th grade, not 1st!! This child knew better, knew the dangers, and had intent. He needs to be on SOMEONE'S radar for future acts. Personally, I would take my son to the doctor to document stuff and make sure no infection (don't know if the fork was used or not). Next, I would contact the principal and demand a meeting with him AND the two teachers involved where you can ask questions directly with all parties present....no time for anyone to "get their stories straight". And ask all those great questions that Annie brings up. This WAS handled wrong, and they need to know that and make promises to correct the situation. Then, if they blow it off, it is off to the media.

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  18. Oh my gosh, WHAT??? That whole story is just ridiculous! The teacher left early and just decided to leave the kids unsupervised? WTF? And then he gets stabbed in the neck by a stabbing bully that wants his chair? WTF? And no nurse trip? And no parents notified???

    Seriously, WHAT THE EFF??

    That story just got progressively worse and worse. What is your plan of attack??

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  19. the problem with these schools is that they don't have enough supervision. i volunteered in kindergarten and fifth grade and these kids are CRUEL. the teacher was completely unaware of what kids were doing because they were busy running around getting kids off to other rooms and ready for dismissal.

    the kids act up and no one is there to say anything...well i did when i was there and gave them the look...i'm sorry i can't be at every damn school in america to put these kids in check....i wish i could...shit would be run a lot smoother and kids wouldn't be getting hurt...re-dick...i'm glad he wasn't severely injured but this is still disturbing and you must put your foot down..

    schools don't take things as serious even though they say they do...well if ya did then you'd have teachers and aides that payed attention. ughhhh----i'm mad for u

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  20. I agree with other commenters-I would take him to talk to the super intentendant or at least the principal. That is ridiculous. I feel his pain somewhat...when I was in 3rd grade this weird little kid kept falling me around the playground and I asked him to leave me alone, but he wouldn't. So, another little boy (not by my asking or prompting) yelled at him. He cried to the teacher and she pulled me aside and told me to stop "being a flirt" and "leading the boys on" I didn't even know what that meant at age 9!

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  21. I meant following-not falling-haha

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  22. Oh goodness...that is just not good....I don't even know where to begin...

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  23. There comes a time when a child has to learn to stand up for theirself. I fought many, many battles for my kids when they were in school. but I also taught them to stand up when something was wrong. You won't always be there for them, they WILL grow up and you want them to be able to stand on their own two feet. I'm just curious about how you told your son to respond if something similar happened in the future. The cruelty of kids is vicious and very prevalent in schools these days. SAD but true!

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