School Blues

Mama Bear alert! Don't say I didn't warn you!

School issues are the one place, as a mother, that I have trouble trusting my instincts. I have strong opinions about the way my kids should be treated and the way the ideal classroom should be run, but don't always feel confident when it comes down to confronting a teacher. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared! I guess it's that ingrained respect for authority left over from 12+ years of school.

I know in my heart that some things happening in my son's 3rd grade classroom aren't right, but feel like my role is that of teacher support since I am room parent this year. I'm supremely uncomfortable with bringing up my issues to this teacher who's response to other classroom parents has been a stiff "Well, that's the way I do it" I turn tail and run without ever voicing my concerns.

Look at this kid...he's dang cute and he's all mine and I'm responsible for sticking up for him. Why can't I do it?



Before I get 25 requests asking what in the world the teacher is doing, let me lay it out. She has told us that she likes to run her classroom on the principle of "peer pressure". She likes the kids to keep each other in line the way an Army Sargent does when he makes everyone do 50 push ups when one soldier's bed isn't made.

If someone is causing trouble, every child in that vicinity is punished and required to write a letter stating that they were disrespectful and wrong. Now, she says she knows who the trouble maker is but she punishes everyone because they didn't reign the bad child in using peer pressure.

She gives a pre-spelling test on Wednesdays. The children who pass the test not only don't have to take it again on Friday, they also get to make a big display of playing with shaving cream on their desks while the other children retake the test on Friday. The test on Friday isn't given by her, but rather another child in the class who passed the pre-test. This routine is extremely distracting for the kids taking the test and they feel "below" the child who is giving the test and embarrassed that they can't play with the other kids.

She has the class divided into, what my son calls, "good kids" and "bad kids". He explains that it's clear to everyone that the "good" kids are the ones in enrichment and the "bad" kids are the average students. He came home from school after scoring an A on a math test simply overjoyed yelling, "Mama! I'm finally a good kid!" (is that the saddest thing you've ever heard?)

At this year's parent/teacher conference, she mentioned to me that she was deeply concerned about my son's lack of self-esteem and insecure body language (I have NEVER seen that side of him and no teacher has ever mentioned that). My investigation into this has uncovered all of these goings on in the classroom. Well, no wonder he's feeling insecure in this environment! What's a mom to do?!?

You folks have been with me through thick and thin, and I'm at my wit's end here. I need some motherly advice, some teacherly advice, some friendly advice! It's not Feedback Friday yet, but I don't think I can wait. Am I blowing things out of proportion? Does this all seem normal to all of you? Should I just go on about my business and let this teacher alone?

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Mama Bear

Some of you may or may not know I suffer from multiple personality disorder. Fortunately, I have only one other personality and her name is "Mama Bear". You mess with my kids and I'll mess you up, is her motto. You can be family, friends, or a stranger at the playground, she doesn't discriminate. She is fierce and loyal and a bit scary. I wouldn't try to find her if I were you...

I was thinking about when and how "Mama" came to be and began thinking about my favorite poem/prayer I used to read during the later part of my pregnancy:

These Last Few Hours

It is important to me that I spend a part of the next few hours here alone with you in the darkness.

You and I will never be this close again.

By morning, you will be a tiny person all your own.

No longer the kicking, demanding bulge in my body that I have grown to love so well.

I pray God will safely guide you on your journey tonight,

And I ask him for the strength to help you all I can.

Again you signal,
You're impatient to be free,

It's time now...
I still can't read that without a catch in my throat and it was that night Mama Bear was also born.

I struggled through the night of my first child's birth with a wistful fear tinged with curiosity. I wasn't sure what this abstract idea of "baby" was going to be like and not sure I was ready to go there, but I was going - ready or not.

That night was a blur as were the next few days. I looked at my son with wonder and shock, we had made this person. I just couldn't believe it!

We spent the last morning in the hospital getting a diaper, sleeper, snowsuit, and hat on him (literally, ALL morning). Then we spent the afternoon trying to buckle him into his car seat, cover him, take him out, comfort him, put him back in... (ALL afternoon) and then we were off...reluctantly... and veeerrryyy sllllooowwwllllyyyy pulled into traffic from the parking lot. It was as if we'd forgotten how to drive, so careful were we of our precious cargo.

As we stopped at a red light about 100 yards away I was overwhelmed with emotion and this is what occurred to me: "I would jump in front of that truck over there for him." I said to my husband. He looked at me with tears and agreed and Mama Bear began to grow inside me.

She has been growing ever since and I still would take a bullet, lift a car, or stop a train for my boys. They were the best decision I've ever made.

Why all of this baby talk suddenly? I've be working with a customer who is decorating her nursery for her own baby and as I work on her frame I'm touched by my own memories and stories. I just love the quote she chose and I can relate to it as it's summarized in a way I couldn't express on that day in the car.