Did I Mention I've Joined a Cult?

I did, and I'm not sure how it happened. I guess that's always the way it goes with these things...

It seemed perfectly innocent at first (isn't that what they always say?). Then I realized that this group (the F. M. Clan United) began to take over my life in many little ways... the way I dressed (we're all to wear specific colors with the clan logo), my behavior (shouting and waving my arms around on a daily basis), even when I ate (early dinners and late night snacks only).

They have begun to monopolize enormous amounts of each day and they welcomed me into the fold only to get something from me (money and volunteering are high on the list, especially jobs involving feeding other clan members). I think about them all the time, have little chants they taught me running through my head (I think those are called earworms), I even tolerate the abuse and torture tactics they instill to get me to conform (sitting in the hot sun for many hours at a time without going to the bathroom, eating out of coolers, screaming deliriously at random times, wearing strange badges announcing my clan).

I'm writing this to educate other moms that may find themselves faced with the same group, back away now! Be a stronger woman than I!

The cult I'm referring to is the Pittsburgh chapter of Football Moms, they are a mind sucking, obsessed group that is not to be toyed with! They will take away your time, your life, your will to live. Take this as a warning...