This week's episode of House (you can watch it here if you missed it) caught my attention, as the storyline followed an avid blogger stricken by a mystery illness.
The patient was obsessed with blogging every detail of her life, going so far as to ask for readers' opinions regarding medical decisions. Her husband felt threatened by her behavior and begged for some privacy.
Now, I'm not a blogger to that degree and certainly leave much to the imagination when it comes to my children and marriage, but there was still some cause for thought as I tried to view my own blogging habits objectively.
I'm embarrassed to say that I sometimes lose perspective. After watching this episode I tried to ask myself, do things in my daily life get neglected or put on the back burner in order to record events on this computer? Am I getting enough in return to justify the time and energy, and why exactly am I motivated to form these web friendships? Is it wrong of me to mention what Tricia or Jennifer or Shelly, Foxy, Janet, Wendy, Craig, Dawn, Amanda, Danielle, Teri, Sabrina, Sunny, Lisa, Lori... said in conversation and think of them as my friends?
I know I have to keep myself in check when it comes to this particular part of my life. I have to carefully evaluate how much is too much information and how much time is too much time - I tend to get sucked in. I have to remember that comments and followers don't define me as a person and reel it in when I strive for more more more. I have to remember to keep up with real life and real friends. I have to know that I can't depend on the thoughts or comments of others to bring me up or tear me down. I know this, but why do I always have to remind myself?
I love this blog, I love writing and interacting, being creative and inspired, and the friendships I've made, but I catch myself going overboard sometimes when dinner isn't ready or when "Anonymous" rears her ugly head and I feel personally stung.
Am I alone? Do you play this balancing game between web life and real life? Do you ever have trouble compartmentalizing blog and real life or get sucked in and have to pull back sometimes? Do you talk about your blog friends as if you all just met for coffee last week? Am I delusional?
It's Feedback Friday, let's talk bloggy.
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I do love blogging. I love comments also. Yes, I do receive afirmation when someone tells me that they loved what I tried to make or that they would like to try a recipe. My husband teases me all the time about spending too much time blogging. "Friendships" in the blog community are so positive. I do look forward to spending my early mornings blogging, but I can spend too much time with it and my housework has been neglected. Right now, I'm taking a "break" from cleaning up the living room.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. That happens to me a lot. I'm kind of an internet addict. I have to be really careful and still I think a lot of times I spend more time on the computer than I should.
ReplyDeleteIs their room on this bus for two? I had my 'enough is enough' moment when I found myself getting out of bed at 3:15 am to see if anyone left a comment on one of my earlier blog posts....I felt like such an idiot. Why did it matter that much to me...I really don't know, except to say I think we all yearn to be noticed and our existence validated. Unfortunately the validation should be coming from our families and loved ones around us...the ones we can physically touch not our cyber buddies. Their has to be a balance or things can get wacko pretty quickly. All that said...today is Pieday on my blog...please visit and be sure to leave a comment! OMG.....I'm doing it again ;-)
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about this a lot the other day. I haven't been blogging very long and don't even know what I am doing half the time but there is something that I get from blogging friends that I don't get from girls around here. Yes, there are times that I veg on the computer too long and neglect something around here but the laundry and dishes aren't going anywhere. Before blogging I cared too much about the house and not enough about me!
ReplyDeleteOne of the reasons I started blogging was I felt I had a lot to say and no one in particular I wanted to say it to. I mean yes I have friends but so many of these women can be very cold and cruel. Everything seems like such a competition. What activities your children are in, what their grades are, who knows who and I just haven't found that in the blog world. I will say I wonder how people get followers and I wish I knew how to get more but I get almost giddy when my number goes up. I start to think oh, you really like me! I have grown more confident by doing this and realize that my "real friends" aren't really friends at all. No one has to comment at a thing I say but they do.
This is really like a journal for me of my thoughts about being a mother, a women and whatever just pops in my head. I'm still trying to figure out what it is I want to do with the rest of my life so I'm learning from all of you women what passions you have and find out if I have the same passions.
I have learned a lot from you even though I just found you, so thank you and keep blogging!
I just joined the blogger world a few months ago, so this may not be the best feedback- BUT I saw this episode and it got my wheels turning! {Not to mention the fact that I lurve HOUSE!!!!}
ReplyDeleteI think there are extremes everywhere in life and you just have to be aware of what is best for you and your own life. The chick in the show let her "bleaders" maker her medical decisions for her- which is just insane no matter what!
It's nice to have comments and I guess when I get snarky feedback I will fume over it. It's also nice to check in on your blogger buddies and see what they are up too- but it's all in moderation.
Just like I wouldn't hang out with my friends {sans family} 24/7- sometimes you just have to cut the computer off!!
I'm definitely working on creating an appropriate relationship between me and the computer. My struggle isn't so much "online only" friends, but "real life" friends from whom I'm several hundred miles away. I have been known to stay up WAY too late waiting for them to be online and hoping we could talk, not to mention obsessive e-mail checking. I do have friends where I am, but that doesn't seem to help. Weird, huh? Other online activities I don't have so much of a problem with, at least so far, but I can easily see that happening.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, a comment about comments prompted me to check, and I have a comment? Hey, cool! Thanks so much Jennifer, it was a great birthday. :-)
We watched the episode too and even though my husband didn't say anything, I knew he was thinking it about me or was it me thinking it about me? I definitely feel the same way. I get sucked in and I wonder if all my kids will remember was mom on the computer.
ReplyDeleteI hear you girl! It is a balancing act for sure. It isn't even the 'blogging' itself only. It is the doing projects 'for' the blog too. And like housework it never gets done. There is that one moment of gratification when a new project is finished and all written up and posted, and then there is the 'on to the next one' again.
ReplyDeleteBut yes it is wonderful at the same time and I love the way it has enriched me and my life.
the upside of blogging for me is that it beats loneliness.boredom when I am alone during the day. Its a great escape.
ReplyDeleteI stay at home with my preschool twins and when they are in school, I can read blogs or clean/cook. hmmmm. which would you all choose? The downside is that I get a little caught up in blogging (AND IN Facebook). I try to limit my internet use to two hours. I like your blog Jennifer! first time poster.
I definitely wake up in the morning and think "I would rather blog than go to work". Sometimes I will be catching up on reading posts and not get ready until I have 15 minutes to get out the door. It's a nasty habit! It's nice to be connected with people who have the same interests though...even if they are on the other side of the country :)
ReplyDeletei don't feel that blogging is too time consuming or intrusive for me...but i only post a few times a month. i mostly read other people's blogs, and i do that after my daughter and hubby are gone in the morning or late at night after they are asleep. but Facebook ...OMG! that was toooooo much...totally had to drop that...so glad i did! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, now i want to watch House! I have heard it is really good, I just haven't watched it yet.
ReplyDeleteBlogging, do we take it too far?
Hmm. Sometimes I think I can but I try not too.
My friend just asked me if I would be part of another blog. EEK!
But it is a really great idea, kinda like a love note thing for strangers, random act of kindness stuff, PLUS as a bonus we are going to post fancy nice quotes that uplift and such.
That shouldn't take too much of my time. And besides there are 3 authors...
The only problem is I don't know how to make a button. Plus I don't have any photoshop on my computer..If you wanna help a great blogger with a good cause,do you think you could help me?
Either tell me how I can make a button without photoshop...
Or you could make one yourself for us. (If you choose to make a button for us, your own personal button will be advertised on our site FOREVER.) free advertising for you.
Anyway, back to blogging. Sometime I take things too far, but for the most part, I think I am doing ok.
You gotta watch yourself though.
THanks for posting this!
You can email me at--ahh heck its in the profile...:)
Great post! I can totally relate. It is definitely a balance b/t blog life and real life. I too love my blog but this is how I look at it, I have to life my life in order to find things to blog about. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd your statement about bloggy friends, totally feel the same way. I talk about them all the time.
It is definitely addicting. I love to drink coffee and do the rounds in the morning. And then exactly like Danielle I wait till the last minute and zoom in the shower and have really pared down my getting ready for work time!! With working outside the home and 3 kids my time is limited and I do get frustrated at that, but everything else is so satisfying. My family has gotten used to my sharing deets about my online friends.
ReplyDeleteI mention bloggy things in conversation all of the time! I have a couple of close friends who blog, so they know...the others are a bit confused as to who I'm talking about and why I care ;) sometimes it does feel a smidge stalkerish! My best friend says that between my facebook posts and my blog, she really doesn't need to talk to me because she already knows the good stuff!
ReplyDeleteYes to all of them. There is definitely a delicate balance! But the truth is, we all blog for affirmation from others. If this were not true, we would just keep journals with pen and paper, right?
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I often think about balance and try to make sure I'm not ignoring more important things in my life. It is such an addiction, though!
ReplyDeleteI totally, TOTALLY do that with my blog friends. Talk about things they said or did - just like I was there with them when it happened! Which is funny to me, but sometimes you do end up forming a friendship - even if it's just an online one. And I appreciate those friendships just the same as anything else.
ReplyDeleteI don't, however, have the problem of neglecting my real life in favor of my blog. In fact, if anything, it's the other way around for me. I don't post but a couple times a week anyway, so I don't get that physically taken in.
I was that way more with Facebook than with blogging. The blogging is mostly for my family far away, but I found that I was ignoring my family to play on FB. SO, I just don't check it every day. It's tough, but I don't want to miss my children's childhoods for a computer thing!
ReplyDeleteOh, I do agree with you! It is hard to find that perfect balance. I too talk about my blog "friends" in everyday conversation and how great this idea was, how funny this person was..... I sometimes feel like I am living a double life ☺. Ha ~ my hubby's running joke whenever I'm not in the room with him is..."are you blogging" When I blog, I blog about a little of everything, yet not much of anything... know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteHere's a blog addiction quiz site ~ kind of fun~ http://www.lets101.com/blog/quizzes/blog_addiction
Oh, and I am SOOOO disappointed that "my" Lilly is gone! Paige NEEDS to go home!!! Have a great weekend! I'm taking a computer break for the weekend... see not addicted! ☺
You are spot on!! "Collecting" followers and comments can become addicting. I have caught myself getting upset if I lose a Follower or subscriber.
ReplyDeleteI kicked myself for that this morning. I need to remember that I started the blog for ME...if someone doesn't like the way I write or what I write about, it's okay!
I'd love to get to the point that my blog could bring in a tiny bit of money to off-set the time that I spend writing and reading. I don't want to get rich, but it would be nice to supplement what the hubs brings in. The problem with that is that it seems to require more time spent on the computer. I don't think I'm willing to do that....
Good post!
I have to agree.....I too talk about you all like we have known each other and your kids FOREVER......
ReplyDeleteI did get a reality check last year when a very "good" blogging friend was not real!!!!!! I loved reading her blog and she was on mine alot and we even chatted by email.......then she was found out by someone.....
YIKES I felt like such a fool!!!!!
So i have had some personal issues in the last six months so I kind of quit sharing so much lately....I know it's very boring and not at all who I really am but just need a break from some things.
But I do love reading your blog and many others....you guys make me smile!!!!
I love House but don't see it that often. It is funny because I saw that episode last week.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy blogging for all the reasons you said and especially all the wonderful creative inspiration.
I've enjoy everyone else's comments here and agree everything can be addictive. If it is positive and makes us happy it is good but too much of a good thing can be bad. I think balance is the key.
Oh so much to say. First of all, when I sat there watching the episode with Jason (as we always obsessively do), I almost made him shut it off in fear that he would get some crazy ideas. lol.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, it is NEVER wrong to talk about me or anything that I said as if we were sitting in the same room talking about it. I say "Hey, Jen said...." all the time. ;)
The balance is hard. Today, for example has been pretty much a complete wash because I have spent nearly the whole day on the computer. That being said, I have not spent much of any time on here at all the rest of the week.
I'm working on that balance as well. We'll do it together. K?!
Happy weekend, girlie.
XO*T
Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog!!
ReplyDeleteYou're definitely not alone! It's a constant balance game. I am finding that I'm taking more time off these days and it helps me stay focused on real life instead of virtual life. But I do love my online friendships too!
ReplyDeleteIt was extremely interesting for me to read this article. Thanks the author for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to this matter. I definitely want to read more soon.
ReplyDeleteBella Kuree